TED 06 | Social Dancing Tips from a Seasoned Dancer with Diana Liu

Episode 6

Joining me today we have Diana Liu. Diana is probably my oldest dancing friend, um, flitting between France and Switzerland. Diana is  a festival guru, I feel at this point. Um, just in the last couple of years, Diana's been everywhere. We tried to meet up last year. It was very difficult because she was all over Europe dancing.

Uh, she has this brilliant knack of combining travel and dance. Even when you were in, when she was in Singapore recently, she still found time to dance.  Welcome Diana.  Thank you.  Thank you. Hello, Bobby. Good to see you. So, Diana, we met, it is nearly 10 years now, quite shockingly,  um, in Beijing and for me that was my first time.

We did like about a month of Salsa or something and that was the first time I dipped my toes into the Salsa thing. I started in Paris maybe two years before Beijing. So like 12 years ago now. That explains how you were so good.  Oh, that's rude. I was like, damn, this girl's a quick learner. Amazing.  So yeah, I started, uh, with, um, Cuban salsa and then, uh, a friend of mine told me, Oh, there's a, you know, this, uh, this class of bachata. 

It is another Latin dance. You should try. So I started bachata that time as well, uh, after salsa.  Uh, and, uh, I was still doing both. Uh, but it was. Slowly starting to like bachata a little bit more than salsa, and then I got to Beijing. So it was more freestyle between friends, which was really nice. That was very much how I, how I came into it.

I was just told, okay, you can dance with that guy, do this. And I thought, okay, yay. And then we did, uh, we did that show, remember? Yeah, the New Year or Christmas something or New Year's.  It wasn't New Year's, but yeah, it was a thing where we just kind of went on stage and did like, I don't know, a couple of Rueda moves. 

Yeah, it was,I think. Yeah, and we all wore like clothes that someone had made for some sort of  Um, project and we were like modeling them. Yeah, it was great.  Yeah, that was a cool start. Although, so I do think that the drama that went along with it was a bit relevant because,  because after that I didn't do salsa anymore for ages.

Oh wow. And I'm kind of like, well, my only experience was a kind of  social pressuring bullying at the end of it. So I thought, is that why I never went back to it? What is all salsa like this? No, thank you. Yeah, so not, it's not,  as we were talking about, it's not healthy, you know, when people are bullying, uh, on you, not welcoming.

So no, you did, you did good to like stop it a bit, have a break and, you know, come back to the roots and what you like in the dancing. Yeah, I felt very lucky when I came back, the teacher I started with was kind of the opposite of all of that. So that kind of dispelled that illusion that.  this is what salsa people are like.

So that was really good.  But I mean, there is, there is that kind of ego attached in the dancing, dancing scene. And we were talking about that before, before we started recording this. Um, there is that  kind of ego space on the dance floor.  Yeah. A lot. A lot. It's  that corner of the room where I think, maybe I'll avoid that. 

Yeah, you know, that part, uh, like just in front of the DJ. So usually  Like, good slash famous social dancers would love to dance there, the artists as well. Uh, sometimes, um, the artists would also dance in the middle of the crowd, but like, there would be like big circles of people queuing to dance with those guys. 

So, yeah, it's also a lot of, uh, ego of, okay, I need to show off, uh, with, uh, my moves, uh, with, uh, how popular I am and, uh, stuff. So  that's a side of, of bachata that I don't really like. But if you, you know, if you like just focus on yourself, your friends, uh, and the, um, the social dancers that you like to dance with, I think it's, you can have a really good night.

It's just that, you know, you have to concentrate and focus on the good things and not get yourself off, you know, like the bad vibe. My first festivals after the break, I think that was BCN, Barcelona in Spain. So one of those very, very popular, you know, in summer, like a lot of people crowded and a lot of big artists.

And I go there and it's like, Uh is like a lot of people and uh, you know, like if you're not really prepared, um, it can be a lot. Uh, and then like dancing in that part, like just in front of the DJ, and now I don't get affected by it, but before I kind of,  felt a little bit stressed because, uh, you have those people also sitting on the dance floor, just looking at the room,  uh, just watching,  and, uh, yeah, you feel, you feel observed.

So, yeah, it's,  you know, yeah, it's that feeling of being observed, but not in a good way. It's not like a,  Yay, look at you go kind of feeling. No, it's not empowering. It's like,  uh, I observe your move. Oh, are you good? Are you not good? You know, it's like, what is your level? And sometimes it's kind of like  your level in dancing is going to define you as a person, which is like really false.

This is not true at all.  We're, uh, we're talking about it. We were all human beings. We dance. Dance is a hobby or a passion. Or for some of them, it's their work, but we're also like people and we should respect everyone as equal. But  it's those kind of scenes that, okay, if you're good and if you're known as social dancers, you're going to be popular.

And everyone is going to want to talk to you. You know, you can be good as well and not, you know, like, very, very popular in the scene.  They tie a lot, a lot of self worth is tied to how good you are.  you are or how  popular a dancer you are sometimes. So, let's go in connection. That would be like those, you know, bad factors that I'd say you have to also, especially if Like, uh, some people are listening to you, like some beginners, some new to the scene, you know, like that could be a little bit stressful in the beginning.

So my advice would be like, okay, just focus on you, go with a group of friends, uh, stick to your group of friends and then go, go dancing, invite other people that you don't know, but you know, go gradually, not like, like, because otherwise you could, uh, after one night you could like feel a bit. But about like, you know, uh, like I didn't really feel the vibe and, uh, it's bachata like this.

Uh, it's like, but not all the time as well. So, you know. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Having that base group. I love that. That you have your group, you can go out gradually, come back and hang out more of them if you want, but, or you can go off and stay off on your own, but you've got that base, that support where, you know,  they've got me, I've got them.

Yeah. Yeah.  Yeah. I have, I have definitely found that in, um, in some events. So there was, there was one recently, a few, a month or two ago, and we had a bunch of beginners come through our course.  Excuse me. So they've just finished eight weeks. They're in like week nine or 10. And, um, They came as a, as a crew.

There's no other way to describe it. They came as a crew to this party and it was wonderful. So they had their base exactly as you're describing. They had their base and they all had each other. And occasionally one of them would ask someone they didn't know to dance. Um, I got to ask a few of them to dance as well.

A few of them got to, got to chat and we, you know, just. Just yeah, doing what how it should be done. Just enjoying ourselves. No pressure.  Yeah, yeah, but also I'd like to add if you come with a group like don't dance just with people from your group, you know, because the the aim is to social dance. So like the name show dancers.

So yeah, because I've been to some parties are like, you know, you know, these groups of people Good social dancers or or not just like groups. So they stick to to they stick to each other and then it's like And you know, like one group there, one group there, one group there, which is not really mixed. So yeah, come with your group have a base as you say like go go for a chat a drink and then  Invite some people and go back to your group and that's very fun.

So  Cause like, uh, maybe when I was, uh, studying dancing, I would, I would have loved, you know, to hear this kind of stuff. Cause sometimes you, you come back from parties, you're like. And some, I, there was something I didn't feel good. Yeah. Uh, was it me? Was it the, the, the energy of the, the room or was it people?

I don't know. Usually it's not you. Uh, it can be you because maybe you are tired and you go, you know, like you just don't go with, uh, a good, uh, energy to them.  To the party, but most of the time it's also, I'd say, yeah, the, the room or the people are just like those kind of nice, you know, so it's, um, don't be bad.

Yeah, there are other factors.  Yeah, yeah, and also like I know that some of my friends they were sometimes they talk about during the night and they say Oh, I I didn't really didn't dance well and stuff and  okay It's good to be aware of how you how you did but It's also,  I think it's not necessary to every time have, you know, you should be more kind to yourself and your level.

I'm the first, every time I'm like, my God, this dance, like I should have done better and stuff. But in the end, um, you go to have fun. So if you have fun, you know, it's in the mind and, uh, you. Sometimes you just do basics and basic moves and it's, it's the most fun, so. It can be great, yeah. Yeah, there can be this, this pressure to do all, do cool moves or nail everything, but if that's at the forefront of your aims, then it does make it harder to have a fun night.

But if you think I'm here to have fun.  And that's, that's the aim. It can be quite easy to achieve that. Yeah, and usually if you go with that mindset, uh, okay, I'm going to have fun, and I'm just going with a, you know, a good vibe, positive energy, a big smile, usually, in my experience, it's the best nights in, in Barcelona or elsewhere.

I just go to.  And have good dances and, uh, usually if you have fun, it's good dances. This is so true. Yes. So I was at an event in Bristol and  there was a, a person dancing. I thought he was a teacher. I thought I've maybe recognized the face, but he's at the back of the room. So I thought, maybe not. This is not a teacher hangout place, but they look, they were having so much fun, him and his partner.

I thought, and it turns out it was a teacher, a London teacher and that's cool, but it was so fun. And it was.  Yeah, I think it's the best when you like, you know, you go to, but did you know that he was a teacher before inviting him? I wasn't sure because initially when I'd seen him, I thought, are you one of the teachers?

Cause I hadn't been at the lessons earlier. But I'd seen like the posters or whatever. So I thought maybe, not sure. Um, and then when I asked him, I asked him his name and he said his name. So I said, okay, yes, you are a teacher. So I did know once I'd asked him.  But you didn't get stressed when, because you knew he was a teacher, but it didn't affect your,  you know, stress level.

At that point, no, because he, in response, gave me his name and then asked me for mine.  And I thought, and that, you know, that sets off so many nice bells rather than here's who I am. Pause for effect. Yeah. Yeah. I'm ta da. And let's dance. Let's dance. Exactly. Yeah.  Yeah. Yeah. That made, had a good impression. So I thought, okay, I'ma ease here.

I'm, I'm chill. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you had the exchange, so.  Yeah. It's kind of like making, yeah. I think I'm slowly getting better at not feeling the pressure when dancing with someone, but I will add the caveat on that. I'm very UK based at the moment, so I'm not going too far afield. Um, I'm not dancing with the range that you're dancing with.

So You're in Ravynge, huh? Bless you. Oh, I saw you in Ravynge, which is one of the biggest.  Um, maybe.  But I feel like I, um  I don't tend to seek teachers out these days because  some of them I do, if it's like a small night and there's a guest teacher, if I've liked the vibe of them I will go and seek them out.

Um, but typically I don't go to that, as you described, that stage at the front below the DJ. I don't really go there because it feels like a  elite area. And I don't think there should be one, so I'm not going to go to it.  I'm the same as you.  For me, it depends.  So, like I said in the beginning, I wouldn't go there,  because I  would feel stressed.

Now Sometimes I feel, not that I feel brave, but I just feel like, okay, I kind of want to try it out, you know, and challenge myself or I don't even know, I don't, I don't think of myself. I want to challenge myself that night and I go to that part. I'm just like, okay, I want to go. Let's not think about it.

And let's just go. So I go for maybe like a part of the night. And then I mix to, you know, to the back and like I mix, I usually don't stick to one specific area and I say that's good strategy as well.  It's when you come to the room, you scout a little bit. So you do like a circle. So you walk and then you put your stuff, um, close to your, your friends.

So you have your places and then you're like, okay, I'm going to go to that part. So if I want to go to that front stage, I would go maybe, uh, Not in the beginning of the night, because I need to warm up, so I need, I need some warm up dances, and then I go there for, uh, like maybe 30 minutes, and then I do a break and stuff, and then I go to another part.

The back as well is, uh, is good, especially for Crowded festivals because you have, uh, obviously more room, you know, and, um, yeah, and usually the level is pretty good at festivals. So, you know, you know, we don't really care, but yeah, it's good to have like, you know, you mix from part to part in the room and I think you can get a different experience and then you can compare and you're like, okay, I like this vibe here.

The rather than the other part of the room or another room, because sometimes they have like a central room, Dominican and stuff. So, yeah. Yeah, you're so right about the room. There is, there is a different energy in different parts of it, isn't there? Yeah. Uh, also I remember in Rovinch, uh, I know you, you, you, did you go to the parties?

No, you didn't go. No, I just went for a holiday and did loads of outdoor dancing. Ah, yeah. You did.  That's good. The outdoor past. Yeah. And so  I only did the, I didn't do the classes, I did the parties. Yeah. Uh, so for people to know, it's like one week bachara. It used to be, now they don't have it anymore. But up until last year, they had bachara and then salsa, I think in that order.

Yeah.  Yeah, so it's a full week in Croatia of, uh, they have classes as other usual festivals and at night they have parties in, uh, massive rooms, but I'd say it's good. I, I, I quite like to mix the rooms as well. So in Rovic, I went to Bacala and then Kizomba. So it's good to, you know, have a mix of. of dances, of style of dancing and energy.

And then you're like, Oh, okay. I had a good night.  It's true. I sometimes get stuck in one room, not stuck in a bad way, stuck in a good way. I'm having a great time. And I end up there until I'm either knackered and need to go home or it's over. But the last event I was at last week, I got to about halfway through and I thought,  I could go to salsa.

Yeah. And if I get tired, I'll go home. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. And, um, there's a point you said, uh, when you said, uh, okay, you feel tired and, uh, you, you kind of just want to get back home. I think that's a good point as well. Like, just listen to your body. Uh, and you don't have to stay up until the end. I usually do.

Yeah, you do.  Cause I'm hardcore.  Yeah.  Yeah. You, you think you definition of hardcore, Diana? Last year, I didn't count, but I think I did over 10 festivals and stuff in Europe.  And just as another disclaimer, at that festival in Rovinj, I would get up at like 7am to do the morning dancing after a nice night's sleep, Diana would be there, having done a whole night of dancing,  and would still be there at 10am, 11am.

After, like, it's the best. You see the sunrise, you're in the, where was it? On the pier. Of the pier. Yeah. So you see some boats like going back and back and forth and you just like, you know, you just by the water and then you go for breakfast more brunch.  That was  such a good experience. I got it. It's talking about it.

So Diana's hardcore. 

I'm less hardcore now. You know that, uh, so the, uh, the BCN festival, um, the one I did, uh, just after I took back, uh, I started again.  So I was doing some classes and in the so it's the edition. I think it's called Hot Summer Weekend. So it's in July.  It's close to Barcelona. So I think it's Lloret de Mar. So by the beach, but really, really warm.

AC is not really good in the room. So you take the class, you know, it's, uh, it's hot, it's painful. And so you're even more tired.  So I think I did a few, few classes. Now I do less because, uh, you know, I know the, the tricks now. But I did a lot of classes in a row and then I took a nap on Saturday. I couldn't wake up because with my friend, we're like, okay, alarm, you know, snooze, snooze, snooze.

We're like, should we go? Oh, should we go? And we didn't go. That is an example of listening to your body or not getting a choice, your body speaking for you.  So, in some cases it's saying, we are never stopping, and in other cases it's like, no, done. Done. And it's also okay to, to say, okay, I'm stopping now, you know.

Yeah.  Yeah. I think I only recently, um, have kind of taken that, that for myself because I, I would go to an event and I kind of think, oh, I need to stay.  Yeah. Just kind of build into me. I should stay longer. And I'd be having fun, but I might write more brachiatas because it's, it's getting later. So I want to do less salsa. 

But then literally last Friday was the first time I thought,  I can just go home. What's stopping me going home when I'm tired? Okay. All right. We're good.  And then when I, when I got tired, I was like, okay, this has been great. Bobbie out. Yeah.  And, um, it's also okay, uh, talking about this. It's also okay to miss some parties because before when I arrived, um,  no, when I arrived in Geneva for two years, I didn't dance because I had the  other person. 

Um, but yeah, and when I, uh, got back to the scene and saw that party, that party, and I wanted to do everything, you know, um,  that formal feeling and, uh, it's actually, you don't have to do everything. Just pick your night and it's better to, to go when you're like not tired and just. energetic, uh, and in a good, uh, mindset rather than like going there and so tired.

And then you feel like the dance is like you're forcing your body and you're forcing yourself. And that's, that's the worst, you know? So  you, you got to take care of your body and some, some moves as well. Like some leaders are rough, so you have to protect your body, you know? So  Don't go too tight to the body or, you know, it's kind of, yeah,  it's that feeling of, of, I guess it's FOMO, it's fear of missing out that you kind of think, Oh no, I know it's going to be a good one.

And yeah, it probably is great. But if you're not feeling it, is it great for you? And if it's not, that's okay. Don't go. Yeah. Diana, thank you so much for all of the social dancing value you've given us today. So many good tips in there. I cannot even recap them. So if you need to hear them again, please just listen back because there's loads of gold in there.

Thank you so much, Diana.  Thank you, Mubi. It was really fun. Thank you for listening to the Empowered Dancers podcast. If there's an aspect of the dancing you would like to hear about, or a particular teacher you would like to hear from, drop me a message and I will try to make it happen. Make sure you subscribe to get every episode as it comes out.

Thank you so much for the comments and questions you are already sharing. I really really appreciate it and I look forward to serving you in next week's episode.